A Pleasure All Mine
It’s high time I write that Fabuloso Manifesto with clever quips for us Fabulistas to chant, or maybe murmur, or purr when pleasure arrives solo and wants to stay awhile.
I Dream of Fulfilling Femininity
If women become more attractive and improve their attitudes, maybe they would stop being such bitches. If so, I’m hoping there would be less of a compulsion to ruin the gorgeous girl’s career in the next cube.
I wish that with happier women, men would be held in high esteem and shown the respect they so rightly deserve that’s decades overdue. A happy man is a beautiful sight to behold. His woman be held.
I dream of when women reclaim their femininity. That she’ll love her babies, cook nourishing meals, keep clean homes, and satisfy her man. If she can bring home the bacon by hounding that hog with a thirty-ought-six shotgun in what she calls a little “me time,” so much the better.
I wish that with happier women, men would be held in high esteem and shown the respect they so rightly deserve that’s decades overdue. A happy man is a beautiful sight to behold. His woman be held.
I dream of when women reclaim their femininity. That she’ll love her babies, cook nourishing meals, keep clean homes, and satisfy her man. If she can bring home the bacon by hounding that hog with a thirty-ought-six shotgun in what she calls a little “me time,” so much the better.
I Wear Bitter Like a Little Black Dress
I’m bored. I’m pissed. I’m overlooked. And I’m occasionally blue. It's true.
My credit limit is greater than a high-end department store clerk’s yearly income. Still am treated like a cockroach to be spotted and sneered at if not menaced away. I just wanted to buy a liquid eyeliner in plum with matching kohl pencil.
“Uh, hello? Yeah, hi. Uhm, I was wondering… Oh, huh? Okay, great. Yeah, will you show me…. Wah?.... Fuck it.” And so I buy online where I can look at all the eyeliner I want without having been snubbed for anyone less, well for anyone.
I can insult myself good and plenty without a community college dropout adding to the litany of the things I could do for personal improvement. That list I got. It’s the eyeliner I want.
I have too little time and too much intelligence to tolerate, much less process, the eternal snippets of infotainment constantly streaming into visual range from collage-like magazines, cable news segments, perky morning shows, and lonely joke spammers. And that’s just when my coffee is cooling off!
Never mind the drive-by cube chatters of Groundhog Day pointless conversations. Those random Tourette ’s syndrome middle-of-a-great-story interrupters of funnier-than-thou coworkers. The cryptic emails from peeved many masters in Rubics Cube middle management. How about occasional missives from V and C class executives cluing me in to being outsourced at work.
I want to read one fascinating, thorough, relate-able, and well researched article on a topic I am interested in to point me to everything related to that topic for more information. And I want it without having to pay for it with more time that I don’t already have enough of.
And I want to read this great stuff while at work, because that’s where I am for 10 hours of every day whether I’m busy or not. And mostly I’m not but have to look it or will get canned, which will already happen if I interpreted IT Communication correctly in that I’ll be writing my job duties in Sanskrit so it will be easier for someone else to do and pretend they are busy for 10 hours a day also.
I’m sick of getting diet tips from fat chicks. I don’t want beauty advice from wallflowers. I can’t buy into the virtues of 100% raw food from a hairy armpit extreme vegan. The smug comfortable-shoe-wearer who believes high heels are a part of the oppressive patriarchy has no fashion advice for me. And if another drapey, crepey wrinkled eyelids and tufted pillow under eye bags woman preaches to me about the evil that is Botox, I’m going to go Rambo on that Bambi and use her blood for hair conditioner.
My credit limit is greater than a high-end department store clerk’s yearly income. Still am treated like a cockroach to be spotted and sneered at if not menaced away. I just wanted to buy a liquid eyeliner in plum with matching kohl pencil.
“Uh, hello? Yeah, hi. Uhm, I was wondering… Oh, huh? Okay, great. Yeah, will you show me…. Wah?.... Fuck it.” And so I buy online where I can look at all the eyeliner I want without having been snubbed for anyone less, well for anyone.
I can insult myself good and plenty without a community college dropout adding to the litany of the things I could do for personal improvement. That list I got. It’s the eyeliner I want.
I have too little time and too much intelligence to tolerate, much less process, the eternal snippets of infotainment constantly streaming into visual range from collage-like magazines, cable news segments, perky morning shows, and lonely joke spammers. And that’s just when my coffee is cooling off!
Never mind the drive-by cube chatters of Groundhog Day pointless conversations. Those random Tourette ’s syndrome middle-of-a-great-story interrupters of funnier-than-thou coworkers. The cryptic emails from peeved many masters in Rubics Cube middle management. How about occasional missives from V and C class executives cluing me in to being outsourced at work.
I want to read one fascinating, thorough, relate-able, and well researched article on a topic I am interested in to point me to everything related to that topic for more information. And I want it without having to pay for it with more time that I don’t already have enough of.
And I want to read this great stuff while at work, because that’s where I am for 10 hours of every day whether I’m busy or not. And mostly I’m not but have to look it or will get canned, which will already happen if I interpreted IT Communication correctly in that I’ll be writing my job duties in Sanskrit so it will be easier for someone else to do and pretend they are busy for 10 hours a day also.
I’m sick of getting diet tips from fat chicks. I don’t want beauty advice from wallflowers. I can’t buy into the virtues of 100% raw food from a hairy armpit extreme vegan. The smug comfortable-shoe-wearer who believes high heels are a part of the oppressive patriarchy has no fashion advice for me. And if another drapey, crepey wrinkled eyelids and tufted pillow under eye bags woman preaches to me about the evil that is Botox, I’m going to go Rambo on that Bambi and use her blood for hair conditioner.
Fashion Victims of the World, Unite!
I read an occasional magazine and enjoy it when I do. I need something to look at when drying my nails and enjoy the mindless perusal of wealthy pursuits. But my complaints about fashion magazines are… many.
Whoever gave us ‘heroin chic’ should be shot. A hot shot, preferably. Do anything to get them off the editorial board, further confusing normal women like me who wonder why we don’t look fab like emaciated junkies pictured.
Beauty editors lost all credibility with me - forever. I don’t trust their taste, much less their judgment. Beauty editors are blithering idiots on the dole if that’s what they claim as fashion forward. Prostitutes – all.
Don’t show me un-wearable, tacky as hell clothes that fetch more than my monthly salary for an ugly outfit. Show me middle class clothes that respectable professionals should wear. Not high flying, jet setting clothes only an oil tycoon cheating on his fifth wife would buy me as a gift.
And none of that ghetto garbage from a contrived culture lauded as authentically black. Jailhouse fashion is not what I care to pay for, much less buy into. I got an education and a future. I want to look it.
For all my considerable efforts, give me an honest benchmark of what a hot body is. Not some fictional, freakish fantasy that drives me to a bulimia-induced frenzy. I don't understand how some women in print don’t actually have knees, much less fat on them that a surgeon’s lipo tube or an artist’s airbrush kit somehow missed.
Give me a real woman to admire. I want real tits and real ass and honest flat abs to emulate. I’ll diet anyway. Weight Watchers Points, The Fat Flush Plan, The Perricone Promise – I believe, I believe! I’m already exercising. Running marathons and half-marathons, doing Combat Abs and the Magnificent Seven, skiing nowhere on the NordicTrack – I’m sweating and loving it! There are no white pants without Spanx – it’s my religion!
Magazine articles are incomplete, sensational, or blatant adverts for products with outrageous claims that we so desperately want to believe are true. They give you enough information to be interested but not enough to benefit from reading it. What a waste.
Wow, a cup of green goop can erase wrinkles, prevent cancer, spontaneously abort unwanted babies and conceive long wanted ones? At $125.00 on a continuous monthly payment plan, I’ll take it! Who cares that it causes pancreatic cancer, birth defects, eventual blindness, and thick vaginal discharge with continued use? I’ll be thin and wrinkle-free. Screw the unborn progeny!
I want writing that’s worth investing precious minutes of reading, for which I’ll pay any price. I want to connect with the writer through the writing’s mental monologue. I want writing that I can’t wait to get back to after being forcibly pulled away. I want to feel devastated when the piece ends; losing the connection that can’t even be made with lovers or resumed again with another writer. I want phrases rattling through my head like an obsessive compulsive deprived of her meds who can’t purge her endless thoughts. I want words to hit me hard like the clanging of a cast iron skillet, which soothes with its brittle coolness to the touch.
I don’t want filler in print because it’s someone’s full-time job to write when they really want to edit. I want to hear from beautiful women about their continuous efforts, large and small, so I can look great naked. More important, so I can look as good as how I want my man to think I look when I’m naked.
Whoever gave us ‘heroin chic’ should be shot. A hot shot, preferably. Do anything to get them off the editorial board, further confusing normal women like me who wonder why we don’t look fab like emaciated junkies pictured.
Beauty editors lost all credibility with me - forever. I don’t trust their taste, much less their judgment. Beauty editors are blithering idiots on the dole if that’s what they claim as fashion forward. Prostitutes – all.
Don’t show me un-wearable, tacky as hell clothes that fetch more than my monthly salary for an ugly outfit. Show me middle class clothes that respectable professionals should wear. Not high flying, jet setting clothes only an oil tycoon cheating on his fifth wife would buy me as a gift.
And none of that ghetto garbage from a contrived culture lauded as authentically black. Jailhouse fashion is not what I care to pay for, much less buy into. I got an education and a future. I want to look it.
For all my considerable efforts, give me an honest benchmark of what a hot body is. Not some fictional, freakish fantasy that drives me to a bulimia-induced frenzy. I don't understand how some women in print don’t actually have knees, much less fat on them that a surgeon’s lipo tube or an artist’s airbrush kit somehow missed.
Give me a real woman to admire. I want real tits and real ass and honest flat abs to emulate. I’ll diet anyway. Weight Watchers Points, The Fat Flush Plan, The Perricone Promise – I believe, I believe! I’m already exercising. Running marathons and half-marathons, doing Combat Abs and the Magnificent Seven, skiing nowhere on the NordicTrack – I’m sweating and loving it! There are no white pants without Spanx – it’s my religion!
Magazine articles are incomplete, sensational, or blatant adverts for products with outrageous claims that we so desperately want to believe are true. They give you enough information to be interested but not enough to benefit from reading it. What a waste.
Wow, a cup of green goop can erase wrinkles, prevent cancer, spontaneously abort unwanted babies and conceive long wanted ones? At $125.00 on a continuous monthly payment plan, I’ll take it! Who cares that it causes pancreatic cancer, birth defects, eventual blindness, and thick vaginal discharge with continued use? I’ll be thin and wrinkle-free. Screw the unborn progeny!
I want writing that’s worth investing precious minutes of reading, for which I’ll pay any price. I want to connect with the writer through the writing’s mental monologue. I want writing that I can’t wait to get back to after being forcibly pulled away. I want to feel devastated when the piece ends; losing the connection that can’t even be made with lovers or resumed again with another writer. I want phrases rattling through my head like an obsessive compulsive deprived of her meds who can’t purge her endless thoughts. I want words to hit me hard like the clanging of a cast iron skillet, which soothes with its brittle coolness to the touch.
I don’t want filler in print because it’s someone’s full-time job to write when they really want to edit. I want to hear from beautiful women about their continuous efforts, large and small, so I can look great naked. More important, so I can look as good as how I want my man to think I look when I’m naked.
Beauty Secrets: My Advice for Botox and Fillers
Plastic surgery works. Creams don't. The two greatest treatments to maintain a youthful appearance are Botox and fillers.
Botox is a mild, effective, short-term paralytic. That means it paralyzes the muscles that causes wrinkles. Botox enhances most the appearance of eyes. By eliminating or reducing wrinkles in the stress etched forehead, furrows between the eyebrows, and crows feet on the outer corners of the eyes, it creates a younger looking face.
An injection smooths the forehead. Gone are frown lines between the eyebrows. Smiling still allowed, the eyes are smooth when in repose.
Botox works for about 3 - 4 months. Very expressive people or those who metabolize medicine quickly need another round of injections sooner than that. The more injections over time, the longer it lasts so that you can go many more months before needing it again.
Each area treated costs anywhere from $200 to $400, depending on the plastic surgeon and any specials they run. That means if you only treat crows feet, that is one treatment. Zapping the forehead, between the brows, and outer eyes is three treatments. Budget accordingly. And seriously, don't be cheap. Do all of it to get your money's worth or not at all.
If you get an eye lift, Botox is the best way to maintain your results. Botox injected around the eyebrows can also give you an eye lift. This is included in the crows feet injection. Be sure to ask your plastic surgeon to give you an "eye lift" with your treatment.
Botox does not treat under eyes. If you need help with "sinking" under the eyes or dark circles (shadows caused from hollowing out), consider getting fillers. Combining the filler treatment of "Muppet Mouth" with treating your eyes saves money.
I have two favorite cosmetic surgeons here in Atlanta I go to for Botox. I have referred so many of my friends to both of them. All of them have been very pleased with the results. It should be no surprise how beautiful my girlfriends are! I support all our efforts to maintain beauty and bolster confidence.
Botox is a mild, effective, short-term paralytic. That means it paralyzes the muscles that causes wrinkles. Botox enhances most the appearance of eyes. By eliminating or reducing wrinkles in the stress etched forehead, furrows between the eyebrows, and crows feet on the outer corners of the eyes, it creates a younger looking face.
An injection smooths the forehead. Gone are frown lines between the eyebrows. Smiling still allowed, the eyes are smooth when in repose.
Botox works for about 3 - 4 months. Very expressive people or those who metabolize medicine quickly need another round of injections sooner than that. The more injections over time, the longer it lasts so that you can go many more months before needing it again.
Each area treated costs anywhere from $200 to $400, depending on the plastic surgeon and any specials they run. That means if you only treat crows feet, that is one treatment. Zapping the forehead, between the brows, and outer eyes is three treatments. Budget accordingly. And seriously, don't be cheap. Do all of it to get your money's worth or not at all.
If you get an eye lift, Botox is the best way to maintain your results. Botox injected around the eyebrows can also give you an eye lift. This is included in the crows feet injection. Be sure to ask your plastic surgeon to give you an "eye lift" with your treatment.
Botox does not treat under eyes. If you need help with "sinking" under the eyes or dark circles (shadows caused from hollowing out), consider getting fillers. Combining the filler treatment of "Muppet Mouth" with treating your eyes saves money.
I have two favorite cosmetic surgeons here in Atlanta I go to for Botox. I have referred so many of my friends to both of them. All of them have been very pleased with the results. It should be no surprise how beautiful my girlfriends are! I support all our efforts to maintain beauty and bolster confidence.
- I recommend Dr. Petrosky at Plastic Surgery Center of the South. Dr. Petrosky is famous for doing the best at eye lifts. I've seen his work and he is a master. He is such an ethical doctor that he has actually turned me down for services! Who does that? His reasoning was that I wouldn't get the results I wanted for the money it costs and the pain it causes. So when he makes a recommendation, I really believe him.
Another amazing professional on his staff is Marsha Fuller. She treated my acne with Retin-A and microdermabrasion. Best of all, she helped me to restore my happiness. Marsha has also talked me out of unnecessary products and procedures. What she says, I do with absolute confidence knowing she wants the best for me. When people talk you out of wasting money, they fulfill their professional obligations. And earn a place in Heaven, I'm sure. FYI, get on Marsha's email list for invitations to Botox specials. They are great deals performed by great doctors. Also, you can get from Marsha RevitaLash at a price cheaper than ordering it online. That stuff really works! And is so much better than eyelash extensions.
Another master on staff is Pam Stowers who does permanent make-up. She have perfected my face by giving me eyebrows. I'm naturally blonde so my eyebrows are sparse and very light. Tired of stenciling, penciling, and powdering them everyday - always with uneven results - I decided to get permanent brows. I'm also very fair. Alas, the only punishment for being an Irish Rose.... So Pam framed my eyes with permanent eyeliner also. It really showcased by big, beautiful green eyes. So lovely! The final touch was the lip liner with its rosy hue. Get the nerve block when getting your lips done because the discomfort is great. I look great without make-up, a natural beauty at dawn. What a gift.
- I also recommend Dr. Kim at Kim Facial Plastic Surgery. He has given me both a brow lift and eye lift through Botox alone. Dr. Kim also specializes in facial work for Asians. Given how beautiful his office staff is, I believe by seeing for myself. Dr. Kim has also talked me out of unnecessary procedures. That earns considerable credibility and lifelong loyalty with me. At the same time, he has also given me great ideas that I want to pursue in the near future. Ask about his Botox specials and you'll be grateful.
Fillers fill wrinkles. They are used mainly for two purposes. One is smoothing out "muppet mouth" that forms a deep furrow from our nose down past our bottom lips. The other is to plump lips. Juvederm is the most popular filler these days.
My favorite filler is Radiesse for both a nasolabial filler and lip plumper. However, it is very controversial for its use around the lips because it causes nodules or bumps in the lips. With a skillful plastic surgeon - I highly recommend Dr. Petrosky - a deep injection bypasses the problem.
Radiesse and Juvederm lasts for one year or longer. It costs between $500 - $600. Get the nerve block for pain. It is so worth the $50! You'll swell more from the histamine response than from the fillers, but the swelling goes down quickly. Then gorgeous lips emerge.
I get a refill yearly, halving the dosage between my Muppet Mouth and Trout Pout. The results are fantastic! It's addictively delicious.
When you get injections done, I highly recommend SinEcch for fillers. It performs miracles at reducing bruising and swelling. So much so that I have gone to work the next day without that tell-tale bruising around my eyes and lips.
I bruise easily, so really appreciate how well it works. Before they made SinEcch for fillers, I had bruising around my mouth that some people thought were cold sores. Phew.
The scorn felt for women who get plastic surgery is so great, I preferred people think I had herpes! Truly. How pathetic is that? Ugly Americans, indeed. Not me.
God gave me the gift of great genes. Of course I am beautiful. He made me in His image.
Maxing Out On Brains and Beauty As A Consultant
I pursue beauty with dogged determination equal to my intellectual pursuits. I want the benefits of being a beautiful woman, despite the liabilities attached to the privilege of my appearance. In my estimation, there is more to win than there is to lose.
I am a senior technology consultant, working primarily as a quality assurance data architect. My product in large part is my appearance. It shows that I am a capable person consistent with my bill rate.
The first thing my prospective clients see is me. Not my professional reputation. Not my technical skills, certifications, and experience. No, my appearance is the only thing that shows my capability in delivering to them a product they are willing to pay for.
When I present myself well, they rightfully assume that I present my product just as well. I do. Although my product is data, something as impersonal as it gets.
Yet, they way I present the data must be consistent with the way I present myself. Doing so is a vote of confidence. The alternative is unemployment. My job affords my lifestyle, and so it is everything to me.
The beauty standards for consultants are the highest in corporate America. We represent the best in the business and must look it. We have the most experience, knowledge, and influence in our chosen industry. As a result, we get paid the most.
People expect that those with the most credentials and highest income look the part. So it is, the most successful consultants are also the most attractive. Everything from hairstyle and clothing to cars and computers is scrutinized endlessly by bitter rivals, otherwise known as FTEs (Full Time Employees).
We dress to impress, yes, but we must also deliver. Otherwise it is a demotion to full-time work, if we can get it. Not getting the job is our comeuppance. In a word: schadenfreude.
I am a senior technology consultant, working primarily as a quality assurance data architect. My product in large part is my appearance. It shows that I am a capable person consistent with my bill rate.
The first thing my prospective clients see is me. Not my professional reputation. Not my technical skills, certifications, and experience. No, my appearance is the only thing that shows my capability in delivering to them a product they are willing to pay for.
When I present myself well, they rightfully assume that I present my product just as well. I do. Although my product is data, something as impersonal as it gets.
Yet, they way I present the data must be consistent with the way I present myself. Doing so is a vote of confidence. The alternative is unemployment. My job affords my lifestyle, and so it is everything to me.
The beauty standards for consultants are the highest in corporate America. We represent the best in the business and must look it. We have the most experience, knowledge, and influence in our chosen industry. As a result, we get paid the most.
People expect that those with the most credentials and highest income look the part. So it is, the most successful consultants are also the most attractive. Everything from hairstyle and clothing to cars and computers is scrutinized endlessly by bitter rivals, otherwise known as FTEs (Full Time Employees).
We dress to impress, yes, but we must also deliver. Otherwise it is a demotion to full-time work, if we can get it. Not getting the job is our comeuppance. In a word: schadenfreude.
Rape Makes Beauty Dangerous
The true threat to beauty is exploitation. Especially since rape is a successful reproductive strategy of men. It is no coincidence that they select attractive young women of childbearing age.
A study cites that most rape victims have long hair, a signal of abundant health and sign of womanly beauty, and not short hair. What works for you also works against you. This includes a woman's crowning glory.
Despite the dangers, we pursue beauty. We must. The benefits are too great to forfeit to fear.
A study cites that most rape victims have long hair, a signal of abundant health and sign of womanly beauty, and not short hair. What works for you also works against you. This includes a woman's crowning glory.
Despite the dangers, we pursue beauty. We must. The benefits are too great to forfeit to fear.
The Link Between Your Looks and Lifestyle
There is big business in beauty for one reason: demographics. Every human being who isn’t otherwise killing neighbors for food and shelter cares about how they look; more so for those with access to computers. The quest to better one’s life is eternal, universal, and ordained. Yet still pathetically amusing.
The pursuit of beauty determines our lifestyle. We style our lives the way we style our appearance. Groups of women are similarly attractive as groups of men are similarly successful. That's why we have sororities and sports teams. Which ones we pay dues to or cheer on Monday nights is predicated on our looks.
We associate among those whom we most identify with, clustering together socially along the lines of looks. We seek to move to places where we best belong. Where the people look and live most like us. Yet, we belong where we already are. This is why when trailer park lottery winners go broke, they move back to where they came. Same with wealthy people who cling to their country club memberships while eating cat food just to afford the annual dues. Private agonies to support a public appearance.
Social groups converge in collectives called neighborhoods. Neighbors live alike as much as they look alike. The greatest differentiators in the pursuit of beauty gives rise to urban and rural settings. There is no point to wearing mascara when milking cows. Conversely, there's no showing up to work in a corporate setting without a "full face" and suitable attire. Dressing inappropriately is grounds for termination according to that company's dress codes. What we do for a living determines how we dress and where we live, although its determinant ultimately rests on our appearance.
The pursuit of beauty determines our lifestyle. We style our lives the way we style our appearance. Groups of women are similarly attractive as groups of men are similarly successful. That's why we have sororities and sports teams. Which ones we pay dues to or cheer on Monday nights is predicated on our looks.
We associate among those whom we most identify with, clustering together socially along the lines of looks. We seek to move to places where we best belong. Where the people look and live most like us. Yet, we belong where we already are. This is why when trailer park lottery winners go broke, they move back to where they came. Same with wealthy people who cling to their country club memberships while eating cat food just to afford the annual dues. Private agonies to support a public appearance.
Social groups converge in collectives called neighborhoods. Neighbors live alike as much as they look alike. The greatest differentiators in the pursuit of beauty gives rise to urban and rural settings. There is no point to wearing mascara when milking cows. Conversely, there's no showing up to work in a corporate setting without a "full face" and suitable attire. Dressing inappropriately is grounds for termination according to that company's dress codes. What we do for a living determines how we dress and where we live, although its determinant ultimately rests on our appearance.
Sexual Anxiety Causes Eating Disorders
I'm astonished at how people with no personal experience with a problem always know the solution. My incredulity forces me to counter their asinine assertions. I hate blowhards.
I know what I'm talking about. Been there. Done that. Bought the proverbial t-shirt.
Professionals and society alike blame the source eating disorders on media and the emphasis of skinny women in advertising. These people couldn't find the solution out of a paper bag. Not finding a way out of it, they blame the bag for being stupid!
I firmly believe that anxiety over one's sexuality is the source of eating disorders. Avoiding or indulging in intercourse as a rejection of intimacy is really the cause. How a woman deals with her inner conflict manifests itself in an eating disorder, each a reflection of her specific concern.
Americans are overtly sexual in the most immature way. This creates a lot of conflict in our minds (and hearts) individually and as a culture. The result is a seeming epidemic of eating disorders that's decades into its course.
I write more about it in my Amazon book list: So you'd like to...
Overcome Insecurities Over Appearance and Eating Disorders.
The sex-aversion-eating-disorder link is this.
I know what I'm talking about. Been there. Done that. Bought the proverbial t-shirt.
Professionals and society alike blame the source eating disorders on media and the emphasis of skinny women in advertising. These people couldn't find the solution out of a paper bag. Not finding a way out of it, they blame the bag for being stupid!
I firmly believe that anxiety over one's sexuality is the source of eating disorders. Avoiding or indulging in intercourse as a rejection of intimacy is really the cause. How a woman deals with her inner conflict manifests itself in an eating disorder, each a reflection of her specific concern.
Americans are overtly sexual in the most immature way. This creates a lot of conflict in our minds (and hearts) individually and as a culture. The result is a seeming epidemic of eating disorders that's decades into its course.
I write more about it in my Amazon book list: So you'd like to...
Overcome Insecurities Over Appearance and Eating Disorders.
The sex-aversion-eating-disorder link is this.
- Binge-eating: Being fat creates a physical barrier that prevents penetration.
Fat women do not want the rigors of sex; they want the sweetness of affection. They are attractive to men who do not want to compete for their woman with other, more successful men. Their man might feel secure in conquest, but this is a false sense of security. Overweight wives are the primary reason for marital dissatisfaction and subsequent divorce.
- Bulimia: Binging and purging is as emotionally exhausting as maintaining a relationship with a man is.
These attractive, lusty women cannot handle the emotions that sexual encounters elicit. They are physical and intense, yet overwhelmed by the exponential boomerang of their sex appeal. Therefore, they eat in a dual-reality way that mimics their confusion in the feast and famine of sex itself. Having seconds is a perpetual cycle of pleasure and pain, of rejoice and regret, of praise and penance, as indulgences are.
- Anorexia: Withering away oneself into oblivion occurs when these women cannot handle the responsibilities of womanhood.
Sex is threatening because they would break under the weight of normal men. These are delicate children needing protection and secreted away from harm. Daddy's Girls placed upon the lap of a man and held tenderly forever. Baby birds unwanted in their mother's nest. When daughters compete for her father’s eye, she cannot win the contest nor bear the weight of her crown.
On a personal level, I seriously urge people with eating disorders to get help. HOWEVER, get the help the won't hurt you. Please consider my advice.
From the ages of 17 - 27, I couldn't get my own health insurance. When I graduated from college, I had to go without health care coverage when I was unemployed or not covered by my employers. I had to join a big company that had group health insurance, which wouldn't exclude me from coverage.
You can't start or own a business when you're un-insurable. Either you won't be able to get insurance at all, which is what happened to me. Or you'll have a "rider" or waiver that will insure you, but exclude treating any pre-existing conditions. When mental illness is your condition, there's a world of care you are excluded from. If you do get insured, you won't be able to afford the rates.
- Make in-patient care as your very last resort. Typically, extreme anorexics need this type of intensive treatment. This is the same as checking into a hospital and staying there. Bulimics and less serious anorexics should consider out-patient care for rehab instead of in-patient treatment.
Before considering in-treatment rehab, watch the movie Girl, Interrupted. That is so like in-patient rehab it startled me. I didn't do in-patient care, but many of my good friends did. This experience is real, and you want to avoid it unless you are suicidal. I'm talking 'razor blades to wrists' or '60 lbs with ribs sticking out and cutting people kind' of craziness. Not just discomfort or confusion craziness.
Curiously enough, going through bootcamp was freakishly like rehab! Maybe because it is so institutional. Also because of the tremendous camaraderie among the ranks. Nothing like gallows humor to pull you through hell and back.
Checking into rehab is a good thing, but treatment will most assuredly make you un-insurable for a good 10 years - if not longer.
- Try Overeaters Anonymous as your first step. Because of its private nature and anonymity, getting help never gets tracked on insurance forms or employee records. This is terrific!
I found OA to be the most successful with binge eaters and bulimics. Anorexics tend to stubborn as hell, so have a much harder time working the program. But still, I know many who have done very well in their recovery. I am so proud of them!
The issue of insurance covering mental illness is important. Treating mental disorders is very expensive. There's no cap for treating mental illness the way there is for physical conditions like getting a knee replaced or quadruple by-pass.
There's a logical end to physical conditions, but no conceive able end to being nuts. Crazy is for life. But with good help, happiness is also.
If you struggle with an eating disorder, and I can't imagnine not struggling with one, know there is help. But get for yourself the kind of help that won't hurt you.
How Your Country's Culture Codes Defines Beauty
Beauty matters because it inspires human achievement. Profound beauty reveals to us our own potential. So we feel compelled to possess it. To possess its trans-formative powers and call it our own. Yet, possessing beauty is dangerous. As is its pursuit.
Many say that money is the root of all evil. That's misguided for what money affords you. Money buys beauty in all its myriad forms. From the base of Maslow's Hierarchy in terms of securing food and shelter to its pinnacle: time to self-actualize. Beauty is the ultimate privilege and proof of success. Attain beauty and toil no more.
Every country has its own Culture Code. In Italy, beauty is pervasive and celebrated. This is because there is a balance of power between men and woman with its complementary roles. From its people to their cars and the cuisine, everything and everyone is beautiful. Bodies and buildings showcase its sublime design and an aesthetic ideal. Balconies and street-side staircases are adorned with blooming geraniums. A celebration of the sweet life is La Dolce Vita. This is true of all the Mediterranean cultures. Same can be said for Latin American cultures for its Italian influences.
Yet, in America, beauty is secretive in its pursuits and dangerous of its possession. How can it not be when there is a decades long War of the Sexes? Conflict always results from scarcity when people compete for diminishing resources. The core of this conflict is in who owns beauty.
Many say that money is the root of all evil. That's misguided for what money affords you. Money buys beauty in all its myriad forms. From the base of Maslow's Hierarchy in terms of securing food and shelter to its pinnacle: time to self-actualize. Beauty is the ultimate privilege and proof of success. Attain beauty and toil no more.
Every country has its own Culture Code. In Italy, beauty is pervasive and celebrated. This is because there is a balance of power between men and woman with its complementary roles. From its people to their cars and the cuisine, everything and everyone is beautiful. Bodies and buildings showcase its sublime design and an aesthetic ideal. Balconies and street-side staircases are adorned with blooming geraniums. A celebration of the sweet life is La Dolce Vita. This is true of all the Mediterranean cultures. Same can be said for Latin American cultures for its Italian influences.
Yet, in America, beauty is secretive in its pursuits and dangerous of its possession. How can it not be when there is a decades long War of the Sexes? Conflict always results from scarcity when people compete for diminishing resources. The core of this conflict is in who owns beauty.
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