Sexual Anxiety Causes Eating Disorders

I'm astonished at how people with no personal experience with a problem always know the solution. My incredulity forces me to counter their asinine assertions. I hate blowhards.

I know what I'm talking about. Been there. Done that. Bought the proverbial t-shirt.

Professionals and society alike blame the source eating disorders on media and the emphasis of skinny women in advertising. These people couldn't find the solution out of a paper bag. Not finding a way out of it, they blame the bag for being stupid!

I firmly believe that anxiety over one's sexuality is the source of eating disorders. Avoiding or indulging in intercourse as a rejection of intimacy is really the cause. How a woman deals with her inner conflict manifests itself in an eating disorder, each a reflection of her specific concern.

Americans are overtly sexual in the most immature way. This creates a lot of conflict in our minds (and hearts) individually and as a culture. The result is a seeming epidemic of eating disorders that's decades into its course.


I write more about it in my Amazon book list: So you'd like to...
Overcome Insecurities Over Appearance and Eating Disorders.

The sex-aversion-eating-disorder link is this.

• Binge-eating: Being fat creates a physical barrier that prevents penetration.
  
  Fat women do not want the rigors of sex; they want the sweetness of affection. They are attractive to men who do not want to compete for their woman with other, more successful men. Their man might feel secure in conquest, but this is a false sense of security. Overweight wives are the primary reason for marital dissatisfaction and subsequent divorce.

• Bulimia: Binging and purging is as emotionally exhausting as maintaining a relationship with a man is.
  
  These attractive, lusty women cannot handle the emotions that sexual encounters elicit. They are physical and intense, yet overwhelmed by the exponential boomerang of their sex appeal. Therefore, they eat in a dual-reality way that mimics their confusion in the feast and famine of sex itself. Having seconds is a perpetual cycle of pleasure and pain, of rejoice and regret, of praise and penance, as indulgences are.

• Anorexia: Withering away oneself into oblivion occurs when these women cannot handle the responsibilities of womanhood.
  
  Sex is threatening because they would break under the weight of normal men. These are delicate children needing protection and secreted away from harm. Daddy's Girls placed upon the lap of a man and held tenderly forever. Baby birds unwanted in their mother's nest. When daughters compete for her father’s eye, she cannot win the contest nor bear the weight of her crown.

On a personal level, I seriously urge people with eating disorders to get help. HOWEVER, get the help the won't hurt you. Please consider my advice.

From the ages of 17 - 27, I couldn't get my own health insurance. When I graduated from college, I had to go without health care coverage when I was unemployed or not covered by my employers. I had to join a big company that had group health insurance, which wouldn't exclude me from coverage.

You can't start or own a business when you're un-insurable. Either you won't be able to get insurance at all, which is what happened to me. Or you'll have a "rider" or waiver that will insure you, but exclude treating any pre-existing conditions. When mental illness is your condition, there's a world of care you are excluded from. If you do get insured, you won't be able to afford the rates.

• Make in-patient care as your very last resort. Typically, extreme anorexics need this type of intensive treatment. This is the same as checking into a hospital and staying there. Bulimics and less serious anorexics should consider out-patient care for rehab instead of in-patient treatment.
  
  Before considering in-treatment rehab, watch the movie Girl, Interrupted. That is so like in-patient rehab it startled me. I didn't do in-patient care, but many of my good friends did. This experience is real, and you want to avoid it unless you are suicidal. I'm talking 'razor blades to wrists' or '60 lbs with ribs sticking out and cutting people kind' of craziness. Not just discomfort or confusion craziness.
  
  Curiously enough, going through bootcamp was freakishly like rehab! Maybe because it is so institutional. Also because of the tremendous camaraderie among the ranks. Nothing like gallows humor to pull you through hell and back.
  
  Checking into rehab is a good thing, but treatment will most assuredly make you un-insurable for a good 10 years - if not longer.

• Try Overeaters Anonymous as your first step. Because of its private nature and anonymity, getting help never gets tracked on insurance forms or employee records. This is terrific!
  
  I found OA to be the most successful with binge eaters and bulimics. Anorexics tend to stubborn as hell, so have a much harder time working the program. But still, I know many who have done very well in their recovery. I am so proud of them!

The issue of insurance covering mental illness is important. Treating mental disorders is very expensive. There's no cap for treating mental illness the way there is for physical conditions like getting a knee replaced or quadruple by-pass.

There's a logical end to physical conditions, but no conceive able end to being nuts. Crazy is for life. But with good help, happiness is also.

If you struggle with an eating disorder, and I can't imagnine not struggling with one, know there is help. But get for yourself the kind of help that won't hurt you.